This was a turning point in my career. I wanted to stop being a graphic designer, I already worked at really good agencies in Spain, and even won a few awards. But I felt numb and depressed, my career was not evolving, I felt like I was lying to myself and to everyone. When Hector Ayuso, called me to talk at OFFF’15, I knew that was the end of my design career and the beginning of something new. Concerned about the recent massive murders in schools and the social desensitisation caused by social media, I became obsessed with the idea of creating something people could really feel, something so powerful they couldn’t hide behind a screen, they couldn’t leave a comment, they had no choice, I was choosing for them.
I decided to stage my death, ending my life as a designer and becoming something else, and at the same time proving how vulnerable we and our reality actually are. I just planned things slowly and let them get real, If I thought too much on what I was doing to do, I immediately felt it was a horrible idea. It’s a very delicate theme, specially with the events that have happened recently, you can’t joke about killing someone.
The day everything happened it went so smooth I didn’t even realize what we just did. 25 exact seconds, in the time my best friend needed to walk down a crowded auditorium with 400 people in it, get on stage, take out a gun and shoot me, end of the talk. Silence took over the whole space, you could feel the tension, they started murmuring, two security guards picked me up and took me towards the emergency exit. Suddenly someone started clapping, (I guess as a coping mechanism against the stress generated), we left the festival with a general feeling of confusion.
I still find myself coming back to the same questions:
Is everything valid if presented as entertainment?
If I create feelings, does that turn me into an artist?
Was this performance just fueled by my Ego, and I was just trying to call for attention?
Why is violence so attractive?
Has social media numbed a whole generation?
Feel free to drop me a line and tell me how u feel about this at info [at] maumorgo or dm on instagram.